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Stressful week continued. Emotional post continued.
It was around 7 a.m when i feel i couldnt stand it anymore. Hours and hours sitting in front of my PC, finishing my Final Year Project. Lack of sleep, lack of rest. My life is a disaster lately. Please... please... owh please... time is running out...
Yesterday, Asrul called me, but the only thing i know is he told me he's on his way back from genting. The rest of the conversation=...... i dunno...... i couldn't remember what i said.... sori la Lat, aku xsedaq la... mamai2......
But this morning, the worst thing anyone could ever imagine. Around 7 a.m. I was waiting for my PC to download the result from browsershot that tested my web design based on several platform and resolutions. It took hours to finish. Then i lay my back on the floor for a while and the last thing i remember i was sms-ing mimmie. When i woke up few hours later, first thing to do is to call her. But she was pissed..... because i wrote someone else's name in the message. My god!!!! what happened? I checked my outbox, and it's true. Oh my...oh my..... im speechless. Mimmie was really pissed by that incident. I'm so sorry babe, I was unconscious, and i swear it was unintentional. I dunno how it happened.
I used to laugh watching my housemate talking while they're sleeping. I've no idea how it happened. Now i know, i learned, got served! 1st, those incident is possible, 2nd, it's a disaster when you exceed the limit, able to talk on the phone and able to type message while you're sleeping. 3rd, i'm a dead man because unconsciously typed a girl name in the message and send it to my girlfriend. But I was sleeping at that moment.
It may sounds like the stoopidiest excuse... Unacceptable, moron, crazy and foolish. But it's not even gonna be your last thing you can ever imagine of.
I dunno if mimmie could ever forgive me again. I wonder if anyone could. I know its wrong, big one! Sorry mimmie, sorry everyone........
Depression. Stressful week. I got another 2 weeks before i finish my study. I've received the Adults life invitation card. Am i ready for all the hurdles? God, please guide me. I am reading the Islamic Philosophy book and suddenly i stop and look at my future. Last nite i hang out at mamak with my friends, then i realize, we're discussing topics that we haven't touch about 3 years ago. "...kerja kat situ....time kerja.....nanti pi keja....." how i miss my childhood. Best kan jadi budak budak? bangun pagi makan, main, makan, nangis, tidoq, main, main dan main lagi.
Bulan depan birthday mak yang ke 49 tahun, ayah dah pun 59 tahun. My sister and bro-in-law skali dgn anak buah aku kat manchester. Abang aku, kak ipaq aku dgn Arif kat nilai. Adik aku kat Behrang. Abang aku sorang lagi kat kampung. Family...Family... jauh kan family aku semua. Saat paling best bila 1 family dapat kumpul. Last satu family kumpul kat Nilai sbb nak antaq kakak aku satu family pi Manchester. Time tu semua orang ada. Mak masak sedap2. Air jus tembikai. Nugget lagi. Eiman anak buah aku la yang paling kuat makan. Makan sampai nak muntah2. Itu memang tabiat dia, budak kecik lagi. Sekarang ni dah ok dah kot. Masa tu Eiman pakai baju Arif sebab baju Eiman semua dalam beg, sbb flight dia ke UK mlm tu. Aku sampai Nilai dengan Mimmie n bang Teh n adik aku agak petang dah sebab ada kelas pagi tu. Baru cukup korum. Seronok sangat masa tu. Everybody's there. Dan saat macam tu cuma lagi 3 tahun boleh rasa....lama kan?
Tiap kali sebelum balek ke shah alam mesti aku cium pipi mak dengan ayah aku. Memang dah jadi tabiat aku adik beradik dari kecik lagi. Dulu mak dgn ayah mesti tunduk sikit nak bagi anak2 depa cium pipi depa. Tapi sekarang semua dah besaq. Tapi tiap kali aku peluk mak dengan ayah, memang itu la saat yang paling bahagia. Tak tau macam mana nak cerita, tapi mak dengan ayah la kekasih aku dunia akhirat. Dulu masa kecik2, mak dengan ayah jaga kami disiplin gila. Balek sekolah makan, lepas tu trus siap2 nak pi mengaji pukul 2.30 ptg. Lepas balek mengaji mesti kena keluaq rumah pi beriadah, bersukan. tapi sampai pukul 6.30 saja. Sapa yang lebih mmg cari nahas. Malam semayang, lepas tu baca buku sampai pukul 10 mlm. tv? jangan harap la. Tapi itu la disiplin yang buat kami berjaya. Aku ingat lagi kadang2, mak panggil kami suruh baca quran, mak nak check tengok. suka sangat time tu. Dulu masa ayah ajaq aku semayang, time tu abang2 aku semua dah terer dah. Aku siap nangis2 lagi sebab xingat takbiratulihram. tapi alhamdulillah... sampai sekarang ingat lagi.
Sekarang ni mak biasa call around 8 p.m, tanya " hang semayang dak lagi?". Aku pun dengan segan duk jawab " dak lagi..satgi, ni nak pi ambik ayaq semayang la ni. tunggu beratoq kat bilik ayaq ni...." panjang saja aku jawab. Mimmie pernah cerita, ibu dia pesan, "sekarang ni korang mungkin rimas ibu selalu call, nnti ibu dah takde mesti korang teringat.." lebih kurang macam tu la. Ya Allah, panjangkanlah usia mak dengan ayahku, sihatkanlah tubuh badan mereka, berilah kejayaan kepadaku, moga aku dapat menggembirakan kedua orang tuaku. Amin. Selalu ka aku doa macam ni? Yang aku pasti, mak dengan ayah mesti tak pernah miss. Tiap kali nak exam mesti mak dgn ayah baca yasin, baca Quran. Setiap paper aku nak exam mesti mak ayah semayang hajat. Masa nak SPM anak2 dia, mak dengan ayah siap khatam satu Quran. Abang2 dgn kakak2 aku nak pi interview pun sama. Dulu aku sendiri tengok sejadah dengan Quran dalam pejabat ayah. Abang2 aku nak periksa, ayah dah standby sejadah dgn Quran dah.
Mak memang kuat. Sabaq, tabah.... mengadap perangai anak2 dia 5 orang. Dari kecik sampai besaq. Pesan mak.. "semayang la selalu, tu saja mak mintak, doa angpa anak2 mak. tu saja bekal buat mak". Cukup la air mata mak buat aku. Dah banyak dosa aku kat mak. Setitis air mata ibu, dosa yang kita tanggung ni, cuma tuhan yang tau. Biaq la mak nak menitis air mata tengok aku berjaya sudah la. Kecik2 dulu mak mandikan aku. Dah masuk sekolah rendah mak ajaq aku basuh baju, lipat baju, seterika baju. Mak kata senang berdikari. Nanti nak masuk asrama senang. Mesti dah tau buat semua benda. Tengok masuk tingkatan satu betoi duk asrama. Mula2 sekolah agama yan, ayah seronok sangat. Anak2 dia form 1 mesti masuk sekolah agama. tapi bila dapat tawaran MRSM, abang aku support sungguh2. Sampai ayah aku pun setuju. Jauh, Gerik. Aku baru form 1. Baligh pun belum. Jauh gila. Jalan nak pi sekolah pun boleh buat bang teh dengan adik aku muntah2. Seronok tengok mak dengan ayah masa tu. Walaupn kena keluaq duit banyak nak register sekolah tu, ayah tetap seronok. Siap bawak tok wan aku la masa register. Itu la last aku rasa tok wan aku jalan jauh pun. Ayah memang baik. Ayah selalu pesan hormat orang tua2. Tengok ayah jaga tok dengan tok wan, buat aku hormat mak dengan ayah aku lebih lagi.
Ayah kalau call aku mesti time dia kat pejabat, tgh keja, nak pi mesyuarat koperasi, kat bank. Bila besaq sikit baru aku perasan. Aku kalau bz sikit, dunia pun xingat. Tapi ayah nak mesyuarat pun boleh call anak2 dia lagi. Nanti bila ada anak sendiri baru terasa kot. Tengok abang aku yang gila bola pun slow down bila da ada family. Dulu aku ingat, ayah selalu bawak kami pi tengok bola. Darah bola tu mmg ada dalam semua anak laki dia. Aku ingat lagi ayah bawak pi stadium merdeka tengok sapa lawan pun aku xingat. Lepas tu bawak rombongan pi tengok final Kedah dengan Singapura. Time tu ayah bendahari KEPDA. Aku kecik lagi, masuk stadium pun selit2 xdak tiket pun. Paling seronok masa adik aku kecik lagi. Semua siap berlakon lagi kluaq rumah sebab xbagi dia ikut. Aku dengan abang aku siap keluaq ikut pintu belakang lagi. Tapi aku xingat bila last ayah bawak kami pi tengok bola n macam mana ayah bleh stop pi tengok bola.
Masa kecik paling best bila bulan posa. Ayah meniaga air tebu. Best sangat. Pagi ayah dgn abang aku duk cuci tebu kat belakang rumah. Petang kami pi meniaga ramai2 kat bazar ramadan. Seronok. Sampai la ayah juai mesin tebu tu kat sapa tak tau. Lagi pun time tu abang2 aku dah belajaq kat asrama dah.
Hurm... bestnya masa kecik2. Memang seronok. Aku jarang post guna bahasa melayu. tapi kali ni ada exclusion sebab aku mmg rindu family. Orang nak kata aku homesick ka, manja ka, go to hell la. Aku ada family, family aku best. Dari kecik sampai besaq best. Lawan wrestling sampai patah katil. Terpengaruh WCW sampai adik aku patah gigi kena wrestling dengan abang aku. : hanip, ang kalo xhensem ang claim kat bang teh. dia bagi gigi ang patah kecik2 dulu. : aku pnah eksiden sampai kepala berdarah. bang teh aku jugak yang bawak. seronok bila pikiaq2 balik. 5 beradik, 4 lelaki. Cuma mak ayah aku boleh handle. Main bola dalam rumah sampai pecah cermin baru berenti. Tapi dulu kan? Bila lagi la..... Tapi skang ni kalau cucu2 bagi pecah pasu, tok dengan tok wan mana marah. hahaha pak ngah, pak teh, pak su, pak tam, mak long la yang duk kena marah. "Pak su ni duk biaq ariff/eiman main sampai pecah pasu tok..." hahahaha I miss my family. I luv my family.
Since i still have my parent, I would like to tell the world that i love my parent so much. They are the greatest parent in this world.
What a happy life.... Hidup biar sederhana, tapi ada life!
If i were rich, i'll buy a bus like this so that i can travel around Malaysia and it will make my "balek kampung" journey easier. Everything's there. Damn superb. I dont know about the price but for sure it's gonna be so expensive.
huhuhuhuhu so luxurious......where can i get this bus ha? not now la... wait till i rich la.... ahahahha
Those my bloggers friend, please help me link this web at your blog because my marketing research require me to do so. Please help me link this we. Love u all...
I got an email from my sister and i think i should share it with all of you.
Mr. Narayana Murthy is undoubtedly one of the most famous persons from Karnataka. He is known not just for building the biggest IT Empire in India but also for his simplicity. Almost every important dignitary visits InfoSys campus. He delivered an interesting speech during an employee session with another IT company in India. He is incidentally, one of the top 50 influential people of Asia according to an Asiaweek publication and also the new IT Advisor to the Thailand Prime Minister.
Extract of Mr. Narayana Murthy's Speech during Mentor Session:
I know people who work 12 hours a day, six days a week, or more. Some people do so because of a work emergency where the long hours are only temporary. Other people I know have put in these hours for years. I do not know if they are working all these hours, but I do know they are in the office this long. Others put in long office hours because they are addicted to the workplace.
Whatever the reason for putting in overtime, working long hours over the long term is harmful to the person and to the organization. There are things managers can do to change this for everyone's benefit. Being in the office long hours, over long periods of time, makes way for potential errors.
My colleagues who are in the office long hours frequently make mistakes caused by fatigue. Correcting these mistakes requires their time as well as the time and energy of others. I have seen people work Tuesday through Friday to correct mistakes made after 5 PM on Monday.
Another problem is that people who are in the office long hours are not pleasant company. They often complain about other people (who are not working as hard); they are irritable, or cranky, or even angry. Other people avoid them. Such behaviour poses problems, where work goes much better when people work together instead of avoiding one another.
As Managers, there are things we can do to help people leave the office. First and foremost is to set the example and go home ourselves. I work with a manager who chides people for working long hours. His words quickly lose their meaning when he sends these chiding group e-mails with a time-stamp of 2 AM, Sunday.
Second is to encourage people to put some balance in their lives. For instance, here is a guideline I find helpful: 1) Wake up, eat a good breakfast, and go to work. 2) Work hard and smart for eight or nine hours. 3) Go home. 4) Read the books/comics, watch a funny movie, dig in the dirt, play with your kids, etc. 5) Eat well and sleep well.
This is called recreating. Doing steps 1, 3, 4, and 5 enable step 2. Working regular hours and recreating daily are simple concepts. They are hard for some of us because that requires 'personal change'. They are possible since we all have the power to choose to do them.
In considering the issue of overtime, I am reminded of my oldest son. When he was a toddler, if people were visiting the apartment, he would not fall asleep no matter how long the visit was, and no matter what time of day it was. He would fight off sleep until the visitors left. It was as if he was afraid that he would miss some thing. Once our visitors' left, he would go to sleep. By this time, however, he was over tired and would scream through half the night with nightmares. He, my wife, and I, all paid the price for his fear of missing out.
Perhaps some people put in such long hours because they do not want to miss anything when they leave the office. The trouble with this is that events will never stop happening. That is life! Things happen 24 hours a day. Allowing for little rest is not ultimately practical. So, take a nap. Things will happen while you are asleep, but you will have the energy to catch up when you wake. Hence,
"LOVE YOUR JOB, BUT NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR COMPANY BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THE COMPANY STOPS LOVING YOU"
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